Nearly Orthodox
family: mother...
·
It’s a little embarrassing that I’m giddy about having ordered some icons. I feel as though I’m waiting for family to arrive from out of town. I’ll tell you that I ordered them from a bookshop I like a whole lot called Eighth Day Books because I’m all about supporting the independent spirit. The hard part is waiting. I’m so conditioned by my internet amazon.com addicition and big box store mentality that…
Fr. Andrew Stephen Damick
A Song for Simeon
·
A Song for Simeon Lord, the Roman hyacinths are blooming in bowls and The winter sun creeps by the snow hills; The stubborn season has made stand. My life is light, waiting for the death wind, Like a feather on the back of my hand. Dust in sunlight and memory in corners Wait for the wind that chills towards the dead land. Grant us…
Nearly Orthodox
joy...
·
Joy comes in the morning, sometimes… I woke up in an oddly good mood. I don’t think it’s the addition of a new coffee maker but I won’t rule out that possibility. It may be that I was up late last night. I sat in the quiet long after the kids were asleep and listened to the wind blowing. Dave is out of town this week. I miss him when he’s gone.…
Fr. Andrew Stephen Damick
Canticle for the Meeting of our Lord
·
Canticle for the Meeting of Our Lord Long years ago I heard the Voice of God— foreshadowing to me the news of Christ, that death I would not see ’til I had seen th’awaited coming of the Son of Man. “Behold, the Virgin shall conceive,” I read, Isaiah’s vision did foretell the One to bring salvation to old Israel, His flesh and blood to…
Nearly Orthodox
community...
·
For whatever reason several of the local people I’ve approached about Orthodoxy have been less than accessible. I get it, I do. I’m busy too. I have not returned phone calls and emails because I’m overwhelmed. Overwhelmed is not my middle name…it’s my first name. Cranky is my middle name these days. Obviously I’m narcissistic enough to think it’s about me. I hope I grow out of this soon. I’m in my…
Nearly Orthodox
desperation...
·
I prayed this morning with no lack of desperation. At first I stepped into my regular morning prayers from my prayerbook. I gripped the pages and felt the desperation whisper to me, “not now..” and “you’re busy…” and “do this later…” I nearly threw it to the ground. I was not angry. I don’t think I was angry. I was overwhelmed and I was tired and rushed but not angry. The prayerbook…
Nearly Orthodox
anger...
·
What rises up in me most these days after praying, surprisingly, is anger. When I asked my priest about this he told me that this is to be expected. When we get into a habit of prayer, a turning away from sin, this is all part of the process of cleaning the “nous” as it were. This ought to be comforting I suppose. It’s not comforting. I’m not comforted. It just makes…
Nearly Orthodox
surrender and the independent spirit...
·
Dave and I had a short courtship and a short engagement. I knew when I met him that I should marry him. It wasn’t that I was head over heels…I mean, I was, of course. It was that I knew this is the one I needed to marry. It was as if God spoke it in my ear. My response to God was a stop sign palm. I really did NOT want…
Nearly Orthodox
words...
·
After all the media frenzy and extended rhetoric about rhetoric from the last week I find myself moving away from all news sources. I get overwhelmed, saturated with opinion and fact checking and engagement. Even my spirit needs distance from all the voices. I found myself falling into the Jesus Prayer again last night. I have a retreat coming up this weekend which I am leading and am struggling with a few…
Fr. Andrew Stephen Damick
New RSS feed URL
·
This weblog is now accessible as roadsfromemmaus.org. Make sure you subscribe via the new feed URL.
Fr. Andrew Stephen Damick
Choosing Orthodoxy
·
There is a critique in Orthodox convert circles, especially in what one reads on the Internet, of the “problem” of converting to Orthodox Christianity. Part of the problem, the argument goes, with American culture is its emphasis on conscious choice, that is, consumerism. We are bombarded nearly non-stop by our advertisement culture to make various selections which will be sure to enrich our lives…
Nearly Orthodox
watching...
·
At this point when I attend services I sit in the back, next to my favorite icon of the Theotokos and I watch, a lot. I love watching. It might be the writer in me or maybe it’s the introvert. Introverts and writers are watchers, after all. It’s fascinating the see the various levels of interaction and action. When entering, some people move quickly to a seat, others make a quick run…
Nearly Orthodox
entering in...
·
I know what it is that gives me such pause whenever I attend Orthodox services. I feel so much like an outsider and at the same time, I cling to my identity as outsider. Being an outsider has some value in that I’m not committed, not given the heavy responsibility of showing up and being engaged. If I have a misstep it’s easily forgiven, because I’m an outsider, because I don’t know…
Fr. Andrew Stephen Damick
Make His paths straight
·
In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, one God. amen. More than 400 years ago in Tudor England, there was a custom of celebrating a holiday called “Twelfth Night,” which took place on January 5th. Twelfth Night was so named because it was the twelfth day of Christmas, beginning with December 25th as the first day.…
Nearly Orthodox
fasting...
·
I’m fasting this week. I’m probably not supposed to tell you that. I think I’m supposed to suffer in silence when I do things like this. I’m fairly sure the withholding of that information has something to do with gaining humility but fasting makes me cranky and so I’m telling you about it. It’s a blood sugar issue on a physical level and a deprivation issue on the spiritual side. Why the…
Nearly Orthodox
circle...
·
I am slowly expanding my circle of Orthodox friends. It’s a slow process and especially difficult for me. I’m so conditioned to move away from people, sit in a corner and watch from a distance. I’m challenged in this now though, I feel I have some imaginary deadline to meet. I feel that I don’t have the luxury of time. Perhaps it’s not a bad thing to move out of my normal,…
Nearly Orthodox
chotki...
·
My sister in law saw my prayer rope on my wrist the day before yesterday. I had just put it back on moments earlier. I had lost track of it in all the cooking and dish washing and for a moment I thought I had tossed it out by accident. I found it deep in my pocket when I was alone in my room. I sighed audibly in relief and then I…
Fr. Andrew Stephen Damick
For the Solstice
·
O dark dark dark. They all go into the dark, The vacant interstellar spaces, the vacant into the vacant, The captains, merchant bankers, eminent men of letters, The generous patrons of art, the statesmen and the rulers, Distinguished civil servants, chairmen of many committees, Industrial lords and petty contractors, all go into the dark, And dark the Sun and Moon, and the Almanach de…
Nearly Orthodox
restoration and repair....
·
Orthodoxy is taking me apart it seems. I feel as though all the pieces of me are being removed, examined, cleaned up and ready for restoration and repair. That is my hope, at any rate. Right now, I only feel as though I’m being taken apart. I can feel each piece when it’s removed. This empty space holds air and time. The framework of me keeps the empty space, ready to be…
Nearly Orthodox
barometer...
·
I may need a barometer, a personal barometer…a person barometer. I need someone who I can call and say, “geez, is THIS normal?” Mostly my “is this normal” question applies to this weird orthodoxy idea I have in me. The one that comes to me today is around having been in the actual “church” on saturday. I had missed the 101 class 2 weeks running because of scheduling conflicts. In that time…
Nearly Orthodox
confession...
·
I’m not sure I know how to put this. It may be a bit rambling, I apologize in advance for that. I tend to write these things stream of conscious-like and often don’t take the time to review and revise a great deal before posting them. That’s not the confession. That’s the pre-amble to the ramble. I’ve been considering that the next thing I need in this journey is confession…I need this…
Nearly Orthodox
acedia...
·
I’m struggling with motivation to be consistent in practice quite a bit now. It’s odd considering that we’re entering the season of Advent…a time to reflect, prepare the way, listen, wait in hope. Maybe it’s the waiting part that is kicking up my struggle. I find I am visited more and more with this old feeling of acedia. I truly wish the “noonday demon” would contain itself to appearing at noon. As…
Nearly Orthodox
Momentum
·
Like every other new thing I attempt I find that I am prone to lose momentum after a few months. This is part of the reason I have tried to be vocal about my journey into orthodoxy. I want to be seen, asked, held accountable. What I want to avoid in this is pride, boasting. I don’t want to appear that I’m doing something to draw attention to myself. So it’s a…
Nearly Orthodox
gabriel...
·
Nearly Orthodox
growing up catholic...
·
When I left the Catholic church, as I said earlier, it was not because I was protesting it’s doctrine or because I felt misused by it. I did not leave under duress but more as a kind of meandering I guess I’d say. I wandered away from Catholicism and it was not hard to wander away. My family was “devout” in that we held to the basic rule of making sure our…
Nearly Orthodox
sacrifice...
·
Choosing Orthodoxy is sacrifice for me. I’ve already seen and felt that. I think we tend to be taught in our current culture that we can and should have everything…that we can and should feel “good” in that process. For that reason when I explain to some friends this idea that to choose this tradition feels sacrificial to me they give me odd looks. I know that as I explain it to…
Nearly Orthodox
philokalia...
·
I’ve been reading today about the Philokalia. The Philokalia is a gathering of spiritual writings which lend insights to the Bible. It is not “commentary” but more than that. I view commentary as it pertains to Scripture to be more a play by play on the Word whereas the Philokalia is not that mechanical. It’s not about understanding with our heads but with our heart. It is not a dissection of the…
