vespers…

I attended Vespers at the Greek Orthodox church last night for the first time. I felt as I expected…awkward, confused, grateful, tired, did I mention awkward? I wanted it to be darker in there. It was so light. I wanted to hide, very badly. It was interesting because just as I began to realize no one was watching me, judging my feeble attempts to understand hand motions and timing and listening, just…

long distance running…

I’m not a runner. I mean, I try but I’m just not really built for it. I’m more the flexibility and strength training kind of body.  Running is something I do because it has merit for me and because I’m able to do it most places I go. I can take that practice with me wherever I go.  It becomes a kind of prayer in that way.   A friend mentioned a…

thirsting for God…

I’ve begun a book suggested by a twitter friend called “Thirsting for God in a Land of Shallow Wells” by Matthew Gallatin. Ok so here’s the thing.  I’m only in the first section of the book, written as memoir he has an interesting story. At this point he’s been through the denominational wringer so to speak. This is a man in search of “truth.”  It’s funny, I have never sought “truth.” I…

hot buttons…

I’m making my list. I’m checking it twice…three times…maybe four. As I’m reading about the tradition I am thinking over and over about the reasons I have turned away from the “church” in this country. The odd thing is that I’m not REMINDED of this when I’m reading it. It’s not as if I’m reading the doctrine and think, “oh hey THAT is why I shun organized religion…”  Not at all. I’m…

matins…

It turns out that the church I’m courting does have a matins service during the week…so, there’s that. I’ve been looking for a way to do a kind of location scout and maybe this is the way to do it.  I’m told that there are not many seats in the typical orthodox sanctuary…most people stand during the service. This thought lends me some angst. I wish I could just be invisible until…

hurry…

I’m always in a hurry. I hate to wait. That whole patience thing is a train I can hear whistling in the distance but can never seem to catch. I watch it going by on a trestle far above my head and think, “well, that’s really majestic and beautiful….and unreachable. I wonder where it’s going.” This is how I feel about Orthodoxy today.  I just can’t seem to get to a service.…

people…

I’m an introvert. Most people who know me will say I hide that well and I guess I do. I’m an extroverted introvert. I can be outgoing-ish and I can handle myself in a group of people but I’m completely worn out for meeting people.  I don’t mind being IN FRONT of a large group, I’m a performer. Being IN a large group is hard for me. I’m afraid of a number…