acedia…

I’m struggling with motivation to be consistent in practice quite a bit now.  It’s odd considering that we’re entering the season of Advent…a time to reflect, prepare the way, listen, wait in hope.  Maybe it’s the waiting part that is kicking up my struggle.  I find I am visited more and more with this old feeling of acedia. I truly wish the “noonday demon” would contain itself to appearing at noon.  As…

Momentum

Like every other new thing I attempt I find that I am prone to lose momentum after a few months. This is part of the reason I have tried to be vocal about my journey into orthodoxy. I want to be seen, asked, held accountable. What I want to avoid in this is pride, boasting. I don’t want to appear that I’m doing something to draw attention to myself. So it’s a…

gabriel…

This is my first icon. I bought this, I remember clearly, at Pier One, about 12 years ago. It’s hung in every house we’ve had, in a place where I’d see it every day. It’s no accident I chose Gabriel. The archangel has long been a favorite, his name meaning “man of God.” He is the messenger, a name I share by my birth-name, Angela. it’s a good place to begin.

growing up catholic…

When I left the Catholic church, as I said earlier, it was not because I was protesting it’s doctrine or because I felt misused by it.  I did not leave under duress but more as a kind of meandering I guess I’d say.  I wandered away from Catholicism and it was not hard to wander away. My family was “devout” in that we held to the basic rule of  making sure our…

sacrifice…

Choosing Orthodoxy is sacrifice for me.  I’ve already seen and felt that.  I think we tend to be taught in our current culture that we can and should have everything…that we can and should feel “good” in that process.  For that reason when I explain to some friends this idea that to choose this tradition feels sacrificial to me they give me odd looks. I know that as I explain it to…

philokalia…

I’ve been reading today about the Philokalia. The Philokalia is a gathering of spiritual writings which lend insights to the Bible. It is not “commentary” but more than that. I view commentary as it pertains to Scripture to be more a play by play on the Word whereas the Philokalia is not that mechanical. It’s not about understanding with our heads but with our heart.  It is not a dissection of the…

poetry among friends…

This is cross-posted at Mrs Metaphor today…just so’s you know. vespers the light surprised me I thought it would be dark murky and mysterious but the sky was open wide and airy the scent was as I had expected heady and sweet I closed my eyes the priest walked down the aisles with soft footsteps garments rustling censer clinking and I took it all into me   If only I could photograph…