dress code…

It would be easier to just go back to being Catholic. That’s a known quantity. Why not just go back to being Catholic? It’s tempting. I won’t lie. I’m pretty sure all I’d have to do is catch up on my Easter Duty…go to confession, go to Mass. By Easter I’d be Catholic again. I already know all the words, the doctrine, the stand-sit-kneel combos. Why not just go back to being…

annunciation…

Today being the Feast of the Annunciation I attended Divine Liturgy. I ducked out early. Don’t tell my priest. It had little to do with the Liturgy and more to do with the fact that sneaking away while my 13 year old babysits on a “(home)school” day always gives me pause. As I drove away though I did feel some real loss. I wondered if I will ever get used to the…

categories…

It may be alright with me that I’ll always struggle. I may be the kind of person who needs to struggle. I look at my “category” list here on this blog and I realize the choices I’ve made there are deliberate, things that describe me and that frankly, I want to describe me. doctrine family fasting growing up catholic mystic practice struggle I want doctrine or at least I want a little…

awkward…

I attended Divine Liturgy this morning, finally. I was comforted that Vespers has prepared me for some of the ritual, the language, the feel and the rhythm. I was thankful to find the parallels I’d been expecting from my Catholic roots. The reading of the Word, the prayers of the Faithful, the blessing of the Mysteries, the “Take and eat…” It was nice to feel some connection already there, not everything was…

Great Lent…

I’m meant to attend a service tomorrow, the last day before the start of Great Lent. I’ve been emailing with a new friend, someone who strikes me as kindred in some very good and holy ways…artist, mother, wife, outspoken and funny… And I wake up today with a raging headcold. There are no accidents, you know. This was well planned by my body, extremely well planned. I’m not saying that I don’t…

pause…

I ran into a wall this weekend and now I don’t want to pray. I was speaking to someone recently about my journey. She was interested in it as well and I think she had hoped I would be able to enlighten her on some of the finer points…which is crazy…because I know so little. I’m a terrible spokesperson for Orthodoxy. The most I can say is that I feel more stirred…

community…

For whatever reason several of the local people I’ve approached about Orthodoxy have been less than accessible. I get it, I do. I’m busy too. I have not returned phone calls and emails because I’m overwhelmed. Overwhelmed is not my middle name…it’s my first name. Cranky is my middle name these days. Obviously I’m narcissistic enough to think it’s about me. I hope I grow out of this soon. I’m in my…