Transitioning to the Orthodox practice of fasting during Advent has been a bumpy road to say the least. I sat down this weekend to make a list of the meals I prepare that my kids actually like and eat without whining and you know, every single one of them has meat in it. It’s a sad commentary really. I’ve tried all kinds of recipes and all kinds of spices. I’m already a mediocre cook at best, so it never goes well on this front. All I have to do is say the words, “Black beans and rice” and my kids cry. I mean, they cry.
So all of this got me to thinking about donuts, because I really, really like donuts. I like baked goods of all sorts, truth be told. This prompt led me to donuts though because given the prompt of “idolatry” I moved immediately to thinking about things (or even people) I put in place of God in my life. Sadly, food goes there sometimes. Lately, I confess that binge watching episodes of Cake Boss and Hoarders has gone there too. It’s a subtle thing, choosing to eat this donut instead of facing my problems with prayer and discussion, choosing to watch one more episode of Cake Boss instead of following through on commitments or responsibilities. It’s subtle because it’s not a direct correlation to my relationship with my Creator, which makes it easy for me to eat that donut even if I don’t even really want it. But these things have an effect on me, they shape me though I may not even realize it. And, with the donuts, that shape is decidedly “round.”
For this next week or so until the Feast, I’m keeping this in the front of my mind. Focusing on how each decision I make about my time or the fuel for my body either draws me toward or away from the One who made me. I may yet eat the donut, I just hope to keep it in its place.