fits and starts…

Perhaps that is what this journey will always be, fits and starts.

For someone who likes to think of herself as “even keel” this whole fits and starts business is frustrating in it’s utter inefficiency.  Can’t I just speak whatever words are necessary, have a priest slap some oil on my head and be done with it? Why does this have to be complicated?

I’m complicated…but not really.

I dreamt last night that I attended Divine Liturgy with my husband and children. I sat in the service alone, though. I don’t know where everyone else was at that time, but they appeared after it ended, at the coffee time which follows the service. They were watching some really awful singer on the television and commenting with a few others I did not recognize.  Henry asked me to show him to the rest room so I did. While he was in there I stood outside and talked with someone I had just met. I don’t remember now if it was a woman or a man. I don’t remember now what we talked about. I only remember that I was waiting there for Henry and that I could see to my right a long hallway leading to the “coffee time” room and on my left the long hallway to the Narthex entrance.

It was a colorful dream. It was a joyful time, at least I woke up with equal amounts of joy and confusion, to be exact.

After waking I prayed my morning prayers, lay in bed a little longer as Dave got dressed. I checked my calendar on my phone, realized that this, too, would not be the week I’d meet this new Orthodox friend for coffee and not the week I would finally make it to Liturgy on Sunday. Fits and starts…

And the kids bounded into the room one at a time, punctuating each entrance with jump on the bed…and then there we were, all together in this little room and I felt some small peace there.

2 comments:

  1. I am not good at dream interpretation, but it seems like the dream had a positive ending. To feel peace is a great thing. Am I right that you have a faith in God, but are confused over church doctrine? Anyway, God bless you on your journey into Greek Orthodoxy.

    1. Hi Melanie, the journey is slow and emotion filled, certainly. I’ve no issue with doctrine, really, it’s more a matter of timing and process, finding my way as it were. I am approaching Orthodoxy as a marriage, something I intend to follow through in sickness and health, for better or for worse and for that reason I suppose I’m taking the fits and starts as they come in the name of discernment and trust building. Thanks so much for your insights!! I appreciate it. 🙂

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