My Daughter’s Blog

Yesterday I wrote on “My Daddy’s Demon.” It’s refreshing to title this short note, “My Daughter’s Blog.” Readers will have seen the guest post my daughter, Matushka Mary Holste wrote a month or more back. Today I’m posting a link to a new article on her blog – a very good read for any who give thought to the question of the true and the false self. It’s a fine piece.

Perhaps my daughter’s prayers will be my salvation…


  1. This is excellent! I’ve shared this article and the link on my facebook! Thanks Fr. Stephen!

  2. (grin) The mischief maker in me expected her blog to be entitled, “My Daddy’s Demon”!

  3. Thank you for posting this. I just suffered my second heart attack and am having to figure out again who I am when I can do so little and have so little control over pretty much anything. I love St. John of the Cross (I read quite of him in college) and it’s interesting to read about him from an Orthodox perspective. I think I’ll be reading more of your daughter’s writing – she’s very insightful!

  4. Fr. Stephen,

    I will make my confession up front. When I clicked through to your daughter’s blog I had low expectations. Please forgive me. What I found was not only someone who could put wonderful thoughts into words very well, but a diagnosis for what I’ve been going through the past few years. It was very healing to know that this is not an anomaly but a very common occurrence in the Christian life.

    You must be very proud of her – in a good way, of course. (grin)

    Peace and all good things, drewster

  5. I’ve been ruminating on the true vs. false self for months now. The article on St John of the Cross especially struck me: the dark night of the soul as the surrender of the false self that we must all someday make if we are to have eternal life. (I suspect that sacrifice is what puts the “dread” in “dread judgment”.)

    A couple of weeks ago I somehow connected this idea with the story of Abram in Gen. 15:1-6. Abram was realizing that his dreams for himself were unrealizable under his own power. I’m wondering if his “believing God” in v. 6 involved at least in part the surrender of his own plans and his trust in himself to acceptance of God’s plans for his true self, to be accomplished by God. I’m wondering if the faith that justifies unto righteousness (right relationship with God) doesn’t somehow involve the surrender of the false self and the dark night of the soul. I’m wondering if this germ of an idea will ever make sense, or whether it’s a false trail leading somewhere off the deep end; if the latter, I would appreciate some direction.

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