Forgiveness is something that most of us acknowledge as good. Despite the common acceptance of the need for forgiveness, we struggle with understanding what forgiveness means. We also struggle to know how exactly to forgive. It can be hard to tell if we have truly forgiven someone. This is understandable. Forgiveness is a process. We often are not sure if the process has been completed. It is possible we could have forgiven someone cognitively (with our thoughts and even verbally) but not forgiven them emotionally. Sometimes this occurs because we fear the wrong or hurt happening again and don’t let our guard down. Also, we might, due to our faith convictions, embrace the concept of forgiveness and thus readily extend…
This past Sunday we heard of an encounter between Christ and a person whose suffering was profound.  The man known as the Gadarene demoniac was a frightening presence. He lived among the tombs, was tormented, alone, and cried out day and night. He also inflicted self-harm on himself. I cannot think of a life more alone and isolated than this one. However, this individual had a story. He had a name and parents. Tragically, at some point, something went terribly wrong. A change of trajectory in his life occurred that led him to a life of isolation and suffering. He had a story to him other than his time living in the tombs. Christ knew this man’s story. We often…
We wonder about so much. We are unsure about so many different things. Universally, we all struggle with uncertainty to some extent. It is human nature to want to know and be sure. Finding certainty in this world has proven to be elusive. However, there is something on which we can lean all of our weight upon and be certain of, and that is the love of God. It is important for us to first reflect on this before we process all the uncertainty in our lives. It is important because the love of God is the great simplifier. It simplifies our lives in that all else, all of our perceptions and meanings we assign to life events, have…
In the gospel reading this past Sunday, we heard some of Christ’s final words to His disciples before he would depart from them. In the midst of the meaning and power of His words was a father’s love for His children. He knew that when He left, they would be subject to tumultuous forces. In Christ’s words were affirmations that He did everything He could for the disciples in preserving them and keeping them safe. For many parents, our minds and hearts will inevitably drift to similar thoughts and affirmations when our time comes to depart this world. Whether or not we were a good parent becomes of the utmost importance. Regrets can also come to the surface at this…
No doubt most of us are well aware of the recent tragedies that have occurred over the past several weeks. Only days ago, those of us who peeked at the news had to come to grips with the tragedy that unfolded at an elementary school in Texas. The idea that such young innocents could suffer such a fate seems unfathomable. Furthermore, the idea that another human being could inflict such pain on young innocents is incomprehensible.  There are few places more pure and innocent than an elementary school. Many of us, when becoming aware of such painful events, may ask how far we should go in processing them. As the days have passed, more and more details emerge that make…
It is interesting to observe how over time, we can forget realities that were once at the forefront of the minds and hearts of many. This world can have that effect on us. We are all so busy. As a result, that which we can readily see, rather than the unseen, tends to take over in our lives. As our lives become more intense and more pressure filled, our hope in the unseen can begin to fade. As St. Paul said in his letter to the Corinthians, “We do not look at the things which are seen. For the things that are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal.” This world rubs off on us…
When seeking resolution to painful experiences in our lives, we may eventually learn that sometimes insight and self-discovery are not enough. We may have done all the cognitive work we can, grieved fully, and even journaled extensively, yet still find ourselves struggling. We are learning more about how painful or traumatic experiences affect the brain. Knowing how the brain is affected, helps us discover the activities we need to truly heal. To heal means to gain closure, peace, a profound sense of the past being in the past, and forgiveness. We know now that the entire limbic system of the brain is affected by painful experiences. To heal all those parts of the brain that were affected by the…
If there is one resilient and God given aspect of us that has remained intact throughout history and time, it is our innate desire to love and be loved. At our core we want to belong. We want to be loved and needed. Safety has also always been important for us. We like to feel safe. No matter how ugly or disturbing the world becomes, no matter who we are, this innate yearning for love and safety holds true. Perhaps the real tragedy is when this innate urge and desire becomes buried under layers of hurt, alienation, anger, and fear. When this occurs, the one who just wanted to be loved like everyone else, can become the stereotypical difficult person.…
Each of us takes a different approach to resolving the unresolved. There is such a wide spectrum of responses to the experiences in our lives that have left a painful mark on us. The following is by no means a criticism of any of the approaches that each one of us takes. Each of us decides on our own what is best for us. If we were to explore the many responses people have to their experiences, we might approach them by placing them on a spectrum.  On one end of the spectrum, we would see examples of lives where there is no awareness of how events affected them, however the effects of those events are everywhere in their lives,…
It is good to pause and reflect on what spirit or disposition we engage our daily life. Have we been living reactively or proactively? Each one has profound ramifications for our emotional, spiritual, and physical health. When we are living life reactively, it means that our default daily functioning tends to be living life proverbially on our heels. We never feel that we have a firm footing in our lives. We seem always be in the process of responding to something unexpected or not planned. We feel at the mercy of the powers of this worldly life and at the beck and call of others. It can even reach a point where we feel that everything that we do, we…
